Why'd this happen to me.

(Think your not the one for me)

Granny called Jane on the phone
She was all upset about Joan
Woohoo, woohoo

Seems Joan has a house she went to clean
That's where we begin, let me set the scene
Woohoo, woohoo

Came time to dust the grandpa's fish
Stuck the hook in her finger just like this
Woohoo, woohoo

Then she said oh no,
She said oh no no no.
She said oh no. Why'd this happen to me.

Then Lawrnece tried to yank it out
Just made it worse there is no doubt
Woohoo, woohoo

They decided to dial 911
they all came to join the fun
Woohoo, woohoo

She still said oh no
She said oh no no no
She said oh no. Why'd this happen to me.

The EMT he took a look
Her blood pressure was off the hook
Woohoo, woohoo

He said you get to ride in our ambulance
She had to go, they can't take the chance
Woohoo, woohoo

Still saying ho no
Oh no no no
Saying oh no, why'd this happen to me

So when it's your turn to clean a fish
Please please please remember this
Woohoo, woohoo

Take your time and take a look
Be sure to stay away from the hook
Woohoo, woohoo

Or you'll say oh no
You'll say oh no no no
You'll say oh no, why'd this happen to mo.

Big Fit at Sonic

I sat on the bread
Because of you is what I said
I threw a big fit
Right there at Sonic

You ask why?
I say it's because of you
You ask why?
There was nothing else that I could do
It's no lie
My aunt laughed and quickly got out of it
My big fit at Sonic

So now I'm older
It's still your fault
That's what I told her
Every one laughs
when they think if it
My big fit at Sonic

You ask why?
I say it's because of you
You ask why?
There what nothing else that I could do
You ask why?
upon the bread is where I lit
So, I threw a fit at Sonic

Little Granny Finger

(Think wrapped around your finger by the Police)

If you come to see the little Granny
You may think she sweet as she can be
Just a word of warning should you linger
You may see her fly that middle finger

You'll see the little granny finger
You'll see her fly her middle finger
She'll smile and laugh while giving you the finger

You may only come here for a visit
You'll gather round the table where we all sit
A little coaxing is all that's she'll require
Soon you'll see that finger heading higher

You'll see the little granny finger
You'll see her fly her middle finger
She'll smile and laugh while giving you the finger

If your driving her and you have a sun roof
Keep it closed or soon everyone will have proof
That the finger flies whenever the mood does arise
Everyone one around gets a surprise

You'll see the little granny finger
You'll see her fly her middle finger
She'll smile and laugh while giving you the finger

Jamie came from Heaven..

(think we didn't start the fire - Billy Joel)

Paper, pens
Downs friends
Love for great big rings

Bowling tapes
Grease, Hairspray
Barbies and their things

"It fine"
My favorite line
Happiness she brings

Giant smiles
All the while
She dances and she sings

Jamie came from Jesus
She is here among us
to try and teach us,
Jamie came from heaven
We know she's going back there
I fate I hope we all share

The Devil is Canadian

We've heard the Devil went down to Georgia
looking for a soul to steal
But, he came from Canada in a blue canoe
The Olympics have revealed

With taps on his shoes and horns on his head
he danced a gig, it filled us with dread
His minions danced around him with glee
Twirling and tapping from what I could see

The cauldron looked like a three legged stool
The forth leg was broken, oh what a fool
But, it just didn't matter what happened inside
Wayne hopped in a truck and away they did drive

The real cauldron was found way down the road
Oh just kidding, was what we were told

The Devil's in the details, or so I heard
He's home in Vancouver playing the fiddle, how absurd

So, when he comes to your town, here is what you should say
Just yell go home, back up north ay!

A Very Vista Christmas

Twas the day before Christmas break and down every hall

The kids are all wound up, teachers climbing the walls

Each student was waiting to get out of their chair

The Christmas song singing was about to be there

With Jolene in her office and Cheryl on her broom

We’ve got faculty seething in many a room

The fridges are just clean as a whistle

It was emptied with little warning and everyone bristled

It sure is a good thing that it is a short day

It can’t come too soon that they all go away

The buses will come and the parents will drive

And all we can hope for is to get out alive

It’s a good thing that Christmas is a full week away

That gives you some time to forget this long day

So all you can say as the school day does end

We have a whole year before we do it again

Joanie's black eye

Joanie got a black eye from a railing
Walking down the isle at the show
You may think it's slick outside at Christmas
But, she would have been safer in the snow

She had bought a coke and popcorn
junior mints and some red vines
she headed back to the family
you would think that everything would be just fine

Then she came up to the stairway
the lights were out and it was black
the result left was poor Joanie
looking like someone had been attacked

Now we're all concerned for Joanie
The theater people seem so too
But, I thinkin their just worried
Hoping that poor Joanie doesn't sue